Secrets of Holistic Living - Husband-Wife Relationship

Dec 02, 2019
Of all the dualities produced by nature duality of man and woman when paired as husband and wife is unique and spiritually most useful. Very few can grasp the constructive purpose of this duality paired during the life-span of one of the party.

Complimentary nature of marriage brings together two persons having same level of nervous (neutral) strength but contrasting emotions of fear, greed, anger, jealousy, attachment etc. If husband has well developed anger, wife would be calm but will have a strong sense of attachment. If husband is generous, wife would have small mind. A talented woman would have dull husband, adventurous man may have timid wife, and vice-versa.

Degree of reversal will depend on development of ego system, usually a male partner will have over-developed ego system, which will be manifested by dominant behaviour. More dominant the behaviour of one of the partner, more distinct will be the reversal. Reversal has a purpose. An egoistic person will come into some difficulty or other because of the ego. Either wealth will be a problem or health or at times both. When this happens, other party with less developed ego system will be able to protect him or her.

In times to come, partner with under-developed ego system also starts developing creative instinct of talent, courage, skill etc. Other partner whose ego has gone down will start protecting him or her. This type of complimentary exchange takes place when any one of them starts working for development of higher self.

At times, husband and wife who are strongly attached to each other start fighting and quarrelling. Here the nature wants to develop each one of them by reducing excessive attachment and hence fight. In the development path consisting of numerous cycles of birth and death, in one particular cycle husband-wife relationship develops both of them by generating negativity in each partner to come out of excessive attachment. They may think of parting the companionship. Sometimes, they do not like to see each other but ultimately as death comes nearer, each person is able to see the good points on the other side and generate loving relationship. This is the purpose of marriage - starting with attachment, it ends with love and interdependence.

Divorce is a bankruptcy of wisdom on the part of both the partners. Any remarriage after divorce to a great extent results in increased misery. Whenever, there are difficulties in marriage due to one partner going in a wrong direction, it is the opportunity for spiritual development of the other partner. By becoming compassionate on the erring partner, we increase our strength and the vibration of love so generated has corrective effect on the other partner. Broken relationship leads to broken life.

Husband-wife relationship when understood properly under the guidance of a good teacher - experimented with positive behavioral responses becomes the powerful tool for achieving divine union - divine in the sense that either attachment or strong dislike, fear, jealousy, frustration, obstinacy, etc. in each partner stand considerably reduced after about 30 years of married life. Both recognize that every crisis in health, wealth or family relation is supported by either partner, and realize that indeed they are made for each-other. Whoever remains behind might experience that fulfillment.

Happy and enlightened husband - wife relation acts as an umbrella to sons, daughters and their spouses. Younger people have energy, but they want wisdom. Such wisdom in parents and grand-parents comes as a result of happy marriage. Initially wife wants protection and later on husband wants protection in times of crisis. Ultimately both protect each other and thus fulfill nature's role of protecting every human being so that they realize their own divinity.

Successful husband-wife relationship is also the basis of successful economic activity.

Book excerpt from "Secrets of Holistic Living" by Shri Jayantilal Shah
Published by:
Vasant U. Patel, President
Vitrag Vignan Charitable Research Foundation